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Star Trek flops into the Darkness at cinemas

Given that Star Trek films only come along once every several years, we would love to be able to report that JJ Abrams latest effort was an absolutely stunning piece of original cinema that will be remembered for generations to come. We’d love to. But we can’t. For KitGuru, the title says it all. Into Darkness indeed.

The world divides into the Marmite lovers and haters. Soccer lovers and haters. Trekkies and the rest.

Each group is massive but, when it comes to Trekkies, there are several members of the KitGuru team who can remember queuing to see things like Wrath of Khan – even in the provinces – such was the draw of Gene Roddenberry’s creation. Not so ‘Into Darkness’. Here’s a shot from inside the first showing of the film in a London cinema last night:-

When one of the pre-film trailers announced 'Book early to avoid the rush', there was ironic laughter
When one of the pre-film trailers announced ‘Book early to avoid the rush’, there was ironic laughter

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The problem is that Hollywood now only appears able to produce one film. The central character must be weened on 9/11, there must be a ‘terrorist’ attack on Western culture by a madman and the hero must stand around looking miserable – swearing revenge for fallen comrades.

While the opening 5 minutes of the film does a great job of engaging with the audience, it rapidly falls into predictable cliche and – once that path is set – in drops past schmaltz and on into a slightly sick-making self-love that makes you uncomfortable with having sat there for 2 hours.

Terminator Salvation, Dark Knight, Star Trek etc. The list of films that Hollywood makes these days with, fundamentally, very similar characters and plot lines is just ridiculous. When you look back at Aliens, Independence Day etc, it makes you wonder: Can these people really not make an original, engaging film?

JJ Abrams’ first effort was so clean, crisp, funny and engaging in comparison – that this second, feeble effort is a definite move into darkness by comparison. Sad, but true – with no audience in Vue.

Apologies for the wobblyness, but this is what you get for smartphoning a 3D screen
Apologies for the wobblyness, but this is what you get for smartphoning a 3D screen

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KitGuru says: If you don’t want this film to be spoilt, then don’t watch the Wrath of Khan. Not only is Into Darkness an echo, it’s a sad and nausea-inducing echo. Overall, it leaves you feeling ‘What a complete waste of time, effort and money’ – for both JJ Abrams and the handful of people that we saw turn up to watch it play out. 

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