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Gartner says Intel must do phone if it wants to grow. Doh.

At the Consumer Electronics Show (CES) in Las Vegas, Gartner Guru Ken Dulaney has dropped a massive bombshell on the waiting masses. It seems that after much analysis and consideration, the research giant’s advice to Intel is “Er, have you tried phones?”. KitGuru has a quick look at the genius behind this kind of radical thinking.

The oldest joke in the business management book is that analysts and consultants specialise in borrowing your watch, looking at it for a while and then confidently telling you the time. The implication is that, rarely, will they tell you stuff that you did not already know.

On that basis, it would seem that Gartner’s Ken Dulally is a specialist of particular insight.

“There are somewhere between three to five billion smartphones in the world, if Intel wants to grow its business at a significant rate it must participate in this market, there is no alternative,” said Ken Dulally, vice president of mobile computing at Gartner.

So let’s see if we have that straight.

Smartphones are popular.

Smartphones use chips.

Right now, Intel has no slice of this pie.

Gartner recommends Intel starts selling phone chips.

Slow down there Ken, you almost lost us.

Nostradamus would have loved working at Gartner. Especially with the amount of money being lavished on tooth polishing.

KitGuru says: Around the show floor itself, we heard a rumour that Ken Dulally will be launching a global investigation into the science of marking paper with a pencil so that others can read it later; another on whether bears do indeed crap in the woods and also a brilliant piece of scientific insight into whether we can expect the sun to rise in the morning and set in the evening. If you want to know the results, start saving now, the genius imparted by Dullaly enterprises could cost you thousands.

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