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Apple iPhone 4 Upgrade Madness

‘The Emperor's New Clothes' by Hans Christian Andersen, is the story of a pair of conmen promising to create the most spectacular clothes, which will be invisible to people who are not intelligent enough to see them in all their glory. Pics from a major London shopping centre have arrived in KitGuru's outbox and we feel the urge to cry  “But he isn't wearing anything at all!”

Apple has made a lot of amazing things. Really. Over 50% of the hundreds of articles you read on KitGuru have, at some stage, been touched by a Mac of some description. But enough is enough. Especially with Apple's iPhone 4.

If your contract's up for renewal, fine. If you don't have a contract, also fine. There are many reasons why you'd want to go with a new iPhone. However, when something is this over-priced/over-rated, then you need to think carefully before buying. If you can get one cheap/free on a £25 a month contract (and that's the phone you really want) fine. In that case, as Nike bosses say to their 3rd world sweatshop employees…   Just Do It.

What don't we like? ……This.

We are different. All of us. And we need this upgrade. We need it now. Now. Now, we say.

This is not launch day. That has been and gone. This is AFTER launch day. And there is still a massive queue in the middle of the day, but what are they queuing for?

The chance to buy a 16GB, SIM-free, Apple iPhone 4 at £500.

Now look at this picture.

All the phone stores we checked HAVE the iPhone 4 in stock from £25 a month on contract.

You can walk out of any of the phone stores in this shopping centre with the same 16GB Apple iPhone 4, on contract, for just £25 a month.

So what does that tell us?

It tells us that the people in that queue are upgrading their existing Apple iPhone 3 units to Apple iPhone 4

They are doing it just to upgrade.

To check if this was true, we contacted the originator of the pics and asked them to conduct a ‘spot survey'. Sure enough the sheep [valued customers, surely? – Ed] already had Apple iPhone 3 products, on contract, but were going to spend £500 to have the latest one anyway. One young lady quized said “I can't afford it, but I really want it” as she clutched her existing 3GS to her chest.

Why would anyone do that? No idea, but we suspect that the coverage/opinions given by newspapers like The Independent couldn't have hurt.

Here is an interesting quote from The Independent next to a quick pic we Photochopped together.

Five of the iPhones shown are of the “Oh my God, you are so lame, you must be from Walthamstow innit” i3 variety and the other half are “Wow, you are so cool, your girlfriend is gorgeous and you're hung like a stallion” i4 type. Now…  which is which?

The difference is big. Striking. No. Really, It is... You should take £500 from your savings and go buy that difference. But don't forget to queue.

Remember, if you can't tell that the Emperor is wearing the most amazing clothes ever created, then you must be really, really stupid.

KitGuru Sanity Check
Say that Apple has finally caught up with the HTC Desire in terms of screen quality. Say that it's quite good – as a phone. Say it's nice to see an iPhone refresh. Say that the i4 is better than the previous model. Maybe even say that it is the best iPhone choice on the market. But ‘striking' ? Nah. Our side-by-side picture says different. And so does the left side of your brain!

KitGuru says: If your contracts up and you love Jobs (Steve – not work), then go for it…  But if not, PLEASE think twice before queuing for almost an hour to spend £500 on this ‘strikingly different design'. It really isn't that different and you will only need it until you have it. Better still. We'll help you. There is a NEW iPhone coming soon. MUCH better than the iPhone 4.

If you believe that we've ‘said the thing that should never be said'. Declare a fatwa in our forum.

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